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How do you get a friend to leave an abusive relationship? If you talk to people who work at women's shelters, they will tell you, but there is something resigned about the way they do it: they know that it's too difficult an ask. Those who can do it reliably are often people who are unlucky enough to have had first-hand experience as victims.
The instructions have anti-memetic properties: no one is thrilled by them, so you can't really propagate them without killing the vibe. If that wasn't enough, if you convey it with insufficient skill it is easy to come across as victim-blaming battered women[1], so it is wiser to avoid the subject matter altogether.
If you are interested, though, here's what they'll tell you:
You make it known to your friend early on that you dislike some aspects of the relationship, of their abuser. After that, you support them and all their choices without reservation. You make it clear that you care about them no matter what, and you will be there for them whenever they need you to be. You do not antagonize or bad-mouth their abuser.
This is what your friend is experiencing, while being in an abusive relationship:
They value the relationship that they have with their abuser. They may be in deep, deep love with their abuser. Their abuser may be giving them something that they cannot access otherwise (or believe that they cannot access otherwise), that they find precious.
They will know that elements of their relationship with the abuser are shameful. They will instinctively take pains to hide the worst of it from people; they know that there are some things that happen inside the relationship that they can't disclose to anyone else. But because their relationship is such a big part of their life, this cashes out to not being able to talk about a large portion of their life to anyone.
Many of their loved ones are going to repeatedly and loudly express concern about their well-being. The strident objections to a relationship that is so importan