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I had my birthday party on a Saturday in August. After the party ended, a few of us went out to a nearby bar. Most of my family on my mom’s side is Ecuadorian[1], and my cousin from that side of the family was with us.
She was wonderfully drunk and is a natural people person who wants to meet everybody and talk to everybody, and this being eight hours into a birthday-party+bar Drinking Event, we were having random discussions about ethnicity, which somehow led to her drunkenly deciding I was 27% Latino, knighting me as such, and running around the bar informing various strangers of my new ethnic status. This led to a Latina woman inviting me to Salsa dance.
This was a disaster, because I have never enjoyed any sort of Spanish dancing of any kind; but it’s terribly rude to turn down a woman who has asked you to dance; so I agreed. Which meant I was stepping back and forth as multiple women gave me instructions at once on the Correct Steps, and which to do at what time, and at my best I only managed to sort of scoot forward at the right times and scoot backward at the right times.
And I don’t hate dancing! Especially 8 hours of birthday drinking in, I don’t typically mind dancing at all. I feel I am actually quite good at it when the right sort of music is on and I get to freestyle and dance however I feel like. The problem is that Salsa is Step Dancing. There are steps, and what it is to dance Salsa is to perform those steps. Google Search AI says that this is how you dance Salsa:
For the Leader (Starting with the Left Foot)
• Count 1: Step forward with your left foot.• Count 2: Replace your weight in place onto your right foot.• Count 3: Step back with your left foot (or bring your feet together).• Count 4: Hold / pause.• Count 5: Step backward with your right foot.• Count 6: Replace your weight in place onto your left foot.• Count 7: Step forward with your right foot (or bring your feet together).• Count 8: Hold / pause.Steps are hardly a Latin Dance phenomenon: